I've lost just over 10kgs. I have lost inches around the waist. I have more energy than ever and I can walk without pain and my posture and strength is 100% on what it was before.
What's more, I don't hide any more. I'm proud of who I am and what I am doing. Where once I procrastinated about just going down the street for fear of being made fun of or being judged, I have lost that anxiety and have a new sense of freedom. I can now go anywhere and walk anywhere and I feel free for the first time in a long time. When you have a purpose and a mission, it gives you a confidence you can't even begin to imagine is possible during your pre turning point days.
The thought of loosing a significant amount of weight is very daunting for anyone. I used to feel like I won't know success/happiness or feel better until I'm at that goal weight -but it turns out this is not true. The truth is, you feel like your own personal saviour and superhero long before you look it!
After 'the switch' or turning point arrives, there is a sense of achievement just in the lighting of the flame within. I remember when I cried into my photos of myself, I wiped away the tears and there was an ignition deep within my being, and I knew that I'd turned that corner. It's a seed of iron determination that is both unstoppable and immovable and at the precise moment you feel it deep within your gut, you have hope and you have certainty and your first step and sense of achievement.
From a physical health perspective, it does take your body a few interesting weeks to readjust, get over cravings and sugar addictions and that's not always fun, but there is a certain glory in the knowing that no craving or hurdle can knock you, in fact I welcomed the pain. - 'Throw at me your worst! For nothing can now knock me from my course!' I'd say in my mind, picturing a ship's captain on his wooden ship, riding through a furious storm and yet teasing it and provoking it.
If you have that determination, and you are prepared (plans and goals - which I will cover later) than you will be ready for the initial pains of change and drive straight through them.
I've never really had my doubts or felt like I was going to cave in. For me, this journey was always one of no turning back. But there have been times where I have and will continue to succeed far beyond anything I could have imagined and that in itself is uncharted territory. Catapulting yourself into a new way of life and health and well-being is all very well, but just like any place you aren't so familiar with, the new life is a strange new place. One where perhaps you find yourself trying to find things to do that don't involve junk food or alcohol or perhaps the new life has a lot more hours of activity you need to fill where once you slept, were hungover or worse.
My advice is, when you have turned that corner, gather all the help you can possibly get. Invest in yourself now. I have an entourage of support workers I imagine are with me all the time - they are my friends, family, my physiotherapist, my GP, a nutritionist, an exercise physiologist and many more. I surround myself with people and activities that support my journey. Money is no excuse, a lot of these services are readily available through an integrated health plan your GP would prescribe for you.
The reason I sit here typing this, is both for my own exploration and also to provide support to the many other smart, clever, lovely and worthwhile people who are struggling to find a way forward.
Ok so you know things are going great guns and again, thank you to everyone for your tremendous support. But this blog is not just about me. I am not unique and my story is not amazing. I'm just a regular person trying to live the best life I know how. Not many can say they've not had their own hard times in life.
I have a very long way to go, however, I have to remind myself that its today that counts. I can't change what happened yesterday. I can't determine what will happen tomorrow, but I can choose to make today the day that counts.
Just a reminder that September 12th is 'R U Ok day'. The idea being we take a moment to ask someone who we feel might not be having a great time, 'Are you Ok?'. For people suffering from depression or crisis, the whole world seems to fly by, and no one notices the people struggling and who are just existing. On Thursday, take a moment to seek these people out and reach out.
The greatest empowerment that we have to 'make today count', to be empowered in the present, is not in serving ourselves, but those who we may not even know. A small gesture of kindness for a colleague or even a stranger may cost you very little but could change that persons day or even their life.
Singing out until next time,
X Brodie
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